The Four Types of Dog Vomit

[greyflyte]

Yellow Urka-Gurkas
Dog runs round house and hides under furniture while making a prolonged "uuurka-guuurka" noise. (This noise is the only thing guaranteed to wake up a true dog lover who is hung over from a post dog show celebration at 3.30am). After a mad scrambling to capture the dog and drag him outside, the episode ends with an indelible ten yard long, slimy, yellow froth from the living room rug to the back door.

Blap Disease
Dog exercises hard and eats mouthfulls of snow (winter blap disease) or drinks a bucket of water (summer blap disease) Within 2 minutes of returning inside the dog spews out large amounts of clear slimy liquid while making a distinctive "blap" sound and sharp percussive noise as it hits the linoleum.

Garks
Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and dramatic "gggaark gggaark" noises. Generally followed by prolonged "iiiiksss" and then loud satisfied smacking noises. There is nothing on the rug. Dont investigate...............you dont want to know.

Ralfs
The dog strolls into the dining room and waits until the innocent dinner guests are all watching him. Then with a single gut wrenching "raaalff" disgorges the entire weeks contents of his stomach on the dining room rug.
Variation - then he eats it.

I remember reading this many years ago in a club magazine and was in tears of laughter as I identified all 4 types as true.
Even now it brings a chuckle. Hope this brightens your day everyone.
Cyd

[graham]

I can relate to all of that
Graham & DASH

[emma]

I can recognize each of them.
Thanks for starting my day with a big laugh! ;D

[rute_paredes]

I think my boy Iago has done a mix of the Urka-Gurka and the Ralf (or maybe gark?).
He moves to the center of the living room rug (so he is certain the occasion will be missed by no-one) and sits down in a beautiful pose he is so reluctant to replicate in his obedience classes. The simple fact that he is sitting so nicely and so quietly is a clear indication that somehting is amiss. One look at his quivering lip and yep, we know, he's gonna toss his cookies. Then his belly starts moving rythmically up and down and you hear the "urka-gurka". He never leaves the sitting position, even as he opens his mouth wide and expels the offending items with a loud ralf/gark.
Since he hates messes and any sort of dirt, he usually looks intently at us and then at the puke and makes for the (clean) edge of the carpet, where he plops down with a sigh.
When he was little he once sneaked into the batroom and ate a rose-scented bar of soap. After he puked, he had the nicest smelling breath ever. (I'm laughing now, but I threw a down-right fit at the time).

Very funny Cyd, thank you.

rute

[greyflyte]

Rute_peredes
That was such a great description, lmao.
Cyd

[groovydreamyfab]

Yes! Nothing, absolutely nothing wakes me out of a dead sleep faster than that old familiar pre-puke melody.

[rute_paredes]

You bet!

That and the sound of nails scratching the floor in desperation as "someone" forgot he's no longer a tiny pup and positively CANNOT crawl under the bed and then expect to wriggle his way out without getting his grown-up Weim butt stuck.

groovydreamyfab said:

Yes! Nothing, absolutely nothing wakes me out of a dead sleep faster than that old familiar pre-puke melody.